I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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