i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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