Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
