she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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