I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
