Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
