I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
