so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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