Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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