I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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