The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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