12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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