More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We named our party play list daddy issues
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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