Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Holy shit dude........stairs
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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