I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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