Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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