If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just high enough for therapy.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize
