Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
