..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize