Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
