Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
