Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
