if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
