i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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