it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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