I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
