So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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