That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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