Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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