suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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