in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize