Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize