WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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