it wasn't lemon gatorade
just tell him i said nine months
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
