He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
