i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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