I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
