drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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