Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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