i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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