my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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