I want to make a zoo with you.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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