then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
