Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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