Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
