Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
