I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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