i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
