i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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