Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just tell him i said nine months
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
