doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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