Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
