i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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