...so i touched it.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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