that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
