i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
