i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
