Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
