so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
