Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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